Posts

Pre-Marital Counseling: Questions to Ask Before Saying "I Do"

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Pre-Marital therapy has been found to help married couples seek help sooner during times of strife, to help maintain and improve their relationship.  Marriage is a big decision for most of us, so why not go into it having had a thorough conversation about the future and with coping skills to manage future communications and disagreements?  Below are a few questions you might ask yourself and/or your future spouse: Why are you getting married?  How do you envision your marriage to be?  What is important to you in a marriage? What is important to you in a partner?  Does your partner embody these qualities? Do you trust your partner? How were conflicts resolved in your family of origin?  Have you encountered any issues with conflicts thus far in your relationship and how have you handled them?  How do you plan to resolve conflicts in your marriage? What do you need from your partner in order to feel loved? How involved do you envision your extended family/in-laws/social circle in your new
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Couples Therapy - What to Expect

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Some couples might feel that, if they love each other enough, they should be able to work through anything, without professional help.  While love is a key ingredient in a good relationship, it can be seriously challenged by feelings of not being heard or supported, not having a sense of connectedness, not being able to work through challenges/disagreements effectively, and infidelity and betrayal.  This can create frustration and resentment between partners and lead to criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling; the Four Horsemen of the apocalypse of the relationship, according to John Gottman, a noted researcher and theorist of relationships.  If you experience these regularly,  they have probably caused a rift in your relationship.  A couples therapist will help partners recognize these aspects in their relationship and give the couple tools to resolve them. Below is a list of some of the things you might experience in couples therapy, with a therapist who has empathy for
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About Me

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 Hi Everyone, Thank you for viewing my blog.  Let me tell you a little bit about myself.  I am registered with the California Board of Behavioral Sciences as an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist (132904) and Associate Professional Clinical Counselor (11290).  I currently practice at Edelman Counseling  in Westlake Village, under the supervision of Marina Edelman, LMFT (51009).   I received a Masters in Professional Counseling with an emphasis on Marriage and Family Therapy from Grand Canyon University in 2021.  I studied for my degree while raising my children and working full-time.  Counseling is a calling for me and I so enjoy working with my clients to help them to better their lives.  I am very grateful to have found this career.  Before becoming a counselor, I held other job positions in food service, entertainment, business management, and information technology.  Suffice it to say, I did a lot of real life research before landing where I am now and I am dedicated not only
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Negative Self Talk

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Today I'd like to talk about negative self talk.  Most of us do it and it's not always detrimental to our wellness.  An example might be if I were to spill something in the kitchen and I say to myself sarcastically, either aloud or in thought... nice going Suzanne!   Another example is if I took a test and failed, and said to myself, you're such a loser!   When negative thoughts become invasive they can interfere with our self-esteem, social interactions, love/family/friend relationships, employment, and more and then they become a mental wellness issue.  A therapist might work with a client to help them to identify these negative statements and the root beliefs associated with them, and perhaps where they originated.  Negative self-talk is linked to our feelings, thoughts and behaviors.  For instance, when I told myself I was a loser after failing a test, I felt sad and useless and thought badly of myself, leading me to not want to talk to my friends or family and sulk in
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